People

Man, people are great. I've been reading a book called Loneliness for work--it's written by a neurological researcher who studies the concept of loneliness. The senior organizations I work with come together to plan their outcomes measurement for their programs, and one thing they found is that the 60 - 65 year olds in their programs felt more lonely than people who are older. This might seem contrary to what you would assume since younger seniors tend to be more active and have the ability to get out and socialize more. So, we were a little confounded but had some ideas about why this might be the case. They were measuring how the older adults felt about being lonely, not using some objective measurement like how many hours in a day they spent with other people or how many friends they had who were still living. I went to Chicago in March for the national Aging in America conference and attended a presentation that the author of the Loneliness book did. During the question and answer period I brought up this example of our survey and asked if he had any thoughts on why this could be. After all, the nonprofits don't want any of their seniors to feel lonely or isolated. Dr. Cacioppo's response confirmed our hypothesis--younger seniors are used to working most of their adult lives, used to being around an office full of coworkers and having lives where they knew what was to be expected every day when they woke up. So, the issue is probably two-fold--1. that the seniors' expectation of what "normal" is changes as they adapt to retirement, and 2. that with time people find new activities and a group of friends. One point Dr. Cacioppo rellay emphasizes is the difference between loneliness and depression--people can experience both simultaneously, but loneliness is a physically and chemically different thing.

I think a really interesting point that the book makes is that humans have developed to be social creatures--that tens of thousands of years ago, you couldn't survive very long as a loner. You needed people to go hunting with, people who would help you gather, people who would protect you from enemies and animals. Those people who for some reason avoided others would end up dying younger and were less likely to reproduce. Now, our lives are not so dangerous--people with mental illness and other problems can live their entire lives isolated from other people if they choose. But, we still have an innate need to be around other people, to live in community. Our brains work against us when we start to feel lonely, though. When we are hungry, we have a desire to eat. When we are thirsty, we have a desire to drink. When we are lonely, we naturally become less self-confident and more likely to retreat into ourselves. This natural reaction works against what we really need, and it takes effort to make ourselves not do the easy or more comfortable thing in this situation. It is only by making ourselves be around people and seek out opportunities to be around other people that we can overcome our loneliness.

Anyway, sometimes I need to remind myself how wonderful people are. How good most people are. How much I have to learn from other people. How full of joy and love and God are my fellow humans. So, thanks for being a human in my life :)

PS, I think this project is such a fun idea, and I plan to participate in the One Day On Earth video project http://www.onedayonearth.org/

I found out about it from this really cool human who is a step-father to a little boy with a disability whose blog I read for work http://pacingthepanicroom.blogspot.com/