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I don't want to go to work tomorrow. Today, I slept til 9:30. This two week break could not come any sooner! For the most part, I like the kind of work I do. I feel lucky that I've been able to identify what I'm passionate about and to end up in a much better place than I would have expected at 25 without a graduate degree. Sometimes, though, I let the bad, frustrating things take over. One of my goals for 2011 is to find a mentor(s). Seriously lacking area in my life.

My family is going to San Antonio for Christmas, staying in a fancy old hotel and doing grown up things like eating nice meals and going to the Tuna Christmas play on Christmas evening. This is a good (after so much sad and worrisome) time for our family. Thank God for doing bigger things than I could ever "fix"!

After our vacation, I'm coming back to Houston and will have (for the first time) a whole week off in town. I am so, so looking forward to this. To sleep, to take care of my body, to spend time with friends, to do all of the little things I've been putting off for months, to spend time in quiet reflection for the coming year, to do fun things. This will be my time to hit re-set and start fresh.

Honey, Let me Bring You Joy

I love the coziness of Fall! I've been going back to these things over and over the last few weeks--they're bringing me joy, ideas to ponder, and lightness.

Brene Brown's blog
http://www.ordinarycourage.com
Seriously, take a look. She's a Social Work professor at UH where she studies shame and perfectionism. Her blog is a mix of reflection on her research and stories about her life. For me, it has been really thought-provoking. I usually don't think of myself as a perfectionist. Making a bad grade has never freaked me out. Being a little messy is okay with me. But, I'm now realizing that my "perfectionism" comes through in other ways. Brene links vulnerability and perfectionism. For me this shows up in not being completely comfortable with people, not acting like my true self, not being honest about how I feel, not taking the risk to be silly, when I'm afraid that someone won't approve of what I'm doing. Weird how that works, huh?

I'm liking this music from a Speaking of Faith episode about Jewish High Holy Days, especially the Rivers of Babylon and Leonard Cohen ones. I really appreciate music that helps my mind calm down and get to a place of peace.
http://being.publicradio.org/programs/2010/days-of-awe/#musicalscore

White Teeth by Zadie Smith. Set in England but with several immigrants, light-hearted, characters you enjoy getting know, a little history, a good escape.

What are you enjoying?

Fair Indigo Clothes

Our girl Brandy told me about Fair Indigo a while back, and I wanted to share some of their pretty fair-trade clothes with you on this grey (please, please be Fall soon) afternoon!

Man, I can't get their pictures on here! But... I promise, there are some pretty things, and the descriptions tell you about the people who sewed them.

Cute cotton/cashmere sweater with a little pocket on sale for $29.95 http://www.fairindigo.com/cproduct_info.php/fair_trade/Women_Sale/product_name/Cotton_Cashmere_Pocket_Crew_Sweater/products_id/205

Pretty velvet blazer in jewel tones for $39.50 (on sale from $139!)
http://www.fairindigo.com/cproduct_info.php/fair_trade/Women_Jackets/product_name/Velvet_Unconstructed_Jacket/products_id/35

Hooded angora sweater for $32.50
http://www.fairindigo.com/cproduct_info.php/fair_trade/Women_Sale/product_name/Viscose_Angora_Hoodie_Pullover_Sweater/products_id/406

Do y'all have any good sweatshop-free clothing sources?

Always, Sometimes, Never

I always...
Like listening to music while doing monotonous tasks
Hit snooze before getting up, at least once
Love talking to my mom on the phone
Read www.designsponge.com at some point during my work day
Read Modern Love in the NY Times on the weekend

I sometimes...
Remember to water my plants after work
Like staying home by myself on Friday evening
Would rather be with a bunch of people having fun on a Friday night
Leave my dishes in the sink for a couple of days

I never...
Regret moving to Houston after college
Take naps in the day unless I'm sick
Remember to call to get my desk picked up for donation
Am good at sports or anything that takes much coordination

Yum!

Do you guys read the Chocolate and Zucchini blog? Sometimes, I like her!

She had a list of podcasts about food recently, and I totally like this one called Good Food http://www.kcrw.com/etc/programs/gf

There's a cute host, lots of on-site interviews with chefs and people who love food. I say, check it out if you're in the mood. Ooh... they just said ricotta blueberry pancake. It's makin' me hungry!

Compassion Fatigue

I'm working this afternoon, tedious things to catch up on like updating calendars for my volunteer teams. It feels as if every single podcast has been listened to, every single musician I can think of is worn out, so I finally began this week's episode of Speaking of Faith. I'd been putting it off because it's about the environment and faith, something I care deeply about, but I couldn't find the energy to listen to. So, I reluctantly pushed play and about 10 minutes in realized what a bad idea it was.

The man being interviewed, who I'm sure is brilliant and inspiring, said the words "compassion fatigue," and my ears perked up. That is exactly how I feel right now. When people ask me how work is going, I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to think about it, and it's hard for me to verbalize the layered feelings I have toward it. It seems like every single thing that could go wrong in the world is, and I'm such a little part of the world and can't fix it. But knowing that these problems exist weighs heavy on your soul. I chose the career I did because I want to help people, and I want to do something about the injustices of the world. Colleagues and workshops are constantly warning about burn out. I'm feeling it.

I'm trying really hard to put into practice the concept from yoga of focusing on the moment at hand and what we can actually do at the time. I'm trying to enjoy the quiet while driving in my car, the taste of food I eat, the time with friends and family I spend, the moments with God in prayer. I can't fix everything. Thinking like that wrongfully takes that power from the divine and puts it in my hands. There are little pieces I can work hard to help with.

Some people have learned how to balance very gracefully family and friends and their own well-being with a life's work focused on helping, and I want to learn to do this better. A man I really admire who works so hard to build affordable housing said, "If I only focus on taking care of the community that is hurting, I'm creating another one at home."

So, I'm going to listen to a podcast about food now as I update calendars. And, not one about food politics or food sustainability or what food is bad for us.

Catalog Living

This blog was featured on www.younghouselove.com and it's so funny! And... the woman who writes it is in the Sonic commercials.

http://catalogliving.tumblr.com/